Good stuff there Sol. You seem to be at the same stage or attitude as myself. Dating but not making it a big priority. There just seems to be too many things going on with kids school and activities. Doing things with the kids helps keep me young at heart. I just am enjoying raising kids and the lady I meet has to be compatible with my kids (or myself/my kids with her kids).
With each lady I meet, it seems that I become more and more at ease. I enjoy learning about them even if there is no attraction. And I try to condition myself before hand so as to not be surprised and to maintain a gentleman demeanor.
It is great that you are not enemies with your X anymore. It is much easier to be civil and flexible than to be enemies. Oh, and my X must have gone through some sort of regret also since she did ask for another chance right before the D was final.
Just keep on your path, lose the gut and you may be in for a pleasant surprise someday when the right lady falls into your lap. I've got a couple ladies I am keeping in touch with who have the chemistry with me and the most recent one seems to have much in common with me. I have no expectations and am in no rush to force anything. I believe that developing a friendship is best first before jumping into any passionate physical relationship.
Good luck and stick with your happy go lucky easygoing attitude. It will rub off on your daughter.
Oh boy, the guys talkin' women! When do we start making stuff up? I guess that comes later. I remember as a teenager wondering why all these amazing sexual adventures were happening to all the other guys and not me but then it hit me, they're all lying! So being a bit naive, you guys will have to cue me when we get to the "fantasy" stuff so I can play too. Now, so many people think Whatis is still so into his W/STBX/whatever that he has no opportunities...WRONG! I have a sweet young thing at church that likes me and saves me a seat beside her every week at bible study and, at one point, we would sit together every Sunday at the service. I decided that this was a bit unfair as I was not in a place where I was looking for more so I cut back the Sunday stuff and stopped asking her to the odd church event. I'm still not divorced and she's at least 15 years younger than me, never married, never divorced, no kids. I thought it appropriate to not put more ideas in her head assuming there were ideas to begin with. Hey, maybe she just felt safe with the old guy, who knows. I think I did the right thing. But it sure is tempting when you're alone and see something nice happening but I made that mistake once before where I wasn't thinking of the other person I was just seeking validation and taking care of my own needs. Well, enough guy talk. Let me know when I should tell you the story of how I nailed her in the pews...that's for when we get to the making stuff up part! Btw Sol, don't lose too much gut or your buddies will think somethings wrong with you and not want to hang out. The beer gut is our male badge of honour!
One major change in me that is going on is that I don't see my ex as the enemy any more. I'm tired of fighting, but I'm also stronger than I was before. When she raises her tone at me, I just glance at her in curiosity as to why she lets her anger control her
This is where I'm struggling with right now. The D is just starting to really roll and we're in a custody fight. Legal custody isn't the issue. It's physical custody. She wants sole and I want joint.
We had our first mediation session and I went in telling myself I wouldn't do point-counter point or raise my voice or argue.
And then we just kept trying to out argue each other. So it didn't go well. I can't wait until she is no longer the enemy.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Right here Wii - just took a break for a bit, been painting lately. I'll try to maintain my beer gut as long as I can, but spring is here and the ladies are wearing less and less clothing - Which means they need something good to look at!
Hey CTH - it sucks right now, custody battles are never fun, but just stick to what you think is fair. I think that you shouldn't budge an inch over physical custody - just because your W "wants" sole custody is not a good reason. One parent has to be seen as "unfit" for that to happen, and if it's beneficial to the kids to keep it joint physical then that's the best way. It's very difficult, if not near impossible, to change a custody agreement in court later, so keep to what you think is fair and always ask this: Will it benefit the children? I don't think your W is thinking this way, but selfishly, which is sad. I have a very selfish XW too, oh, and the divorce is 100% "my fault"!! - Or so she says. (Rolling eyes)...
Hey guys, having a current pic of the person you are about to meet )via online) is vital! It's scary otherwise!! Yeah, I kinda wish my last encounter had "better" pics of her showing all them wrinkles! Speaking of pics, I tend to look younger in mine, even in person, and I'm 40. People say I look 30-something - which is awesome I think. Hmm, I must be good at hiding my stress!! Haha. I still have the urge to date, man I tell you! It's just hard at the moment with my daughter wanting to spend time - but I love it. She's 11, soon she'll be 18! So gotta enjoy her while she's still "little", but I can see her growing up right in front of my eyes! Have any of you fellas ever had a girl like you but you were just not attracted to them - in fact, you were un-attracted to them? You know the kind, she's just not, um, your "type", but she is obviously pursuing you. (shivers). Then there are the ones that make your jaw drop, but they don't seem interested? I tell you what - I will float on air if I end up meeting someone that I am super-attracted to and makes my jaw drop!
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Um, I guess, maybe...well... way to go Gardener, now you've taken that away from me too! But come to think of it, when my beer gut went so did my marriage...coincidence? I don't think so!
OK, this beer gut talk of which you guys speak is starting to freak me out! LOL
Mine was inherited from my dad - it runs in the family!
SO now it's time to burn the pounds away! .....Hopefully without Richard Simmons crashing into my apartment!! (THAT would freak me out even more and make me want to squash him with a giant fly swatter!!)
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
I remember as a teenager wondering why all these amazing sexual adventures were happening to all the other guys and not me but then it hit me, they're all lying! So being a bit naive, you guys will have to cue me when we get to the "fantasy" stuff so I can play too.
Which means they need something good to look at!
