Mermaid, thanks for the note. I looked at your sitch, it seems very similar to alot of what I am going through.
One of my WH's best confidents led his wife on for 10 years doing something like that. I think he did it so he could have the best of both worlds. She raised the kids, he came and went, and created a new life for himself. Then, about year 6 he started in a serious relationship with OP, and then year 10 filed for D, so he can marry OP. And meantime her kids grew up, she didn't drop the rope, and now she's totally on her own. I worry that that's what is happening, though just because someone else did that doesn't mean it's what would happen to me.
