Faith without works... (my new thread)

[james217]

James....i think the point everyone has been trying to tell you over i don't know how many days is....YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOU AND STOP GETTING SUCKED BACK IN BY HER UNTIL YOU ARE IN ABETTER PLACE PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.

i have watched over a mere few days your emotions range from happy to wanting her to die....you need to detach from her..your co-dependance on her is EXACTLY that of an addict (i suggust reading "Beyond co-dependancy" if not already mentioned)..go dark for a few weeks, not just a day, and get your NUTS back.

that is all i have

Gman

My feelings of wanting to die has more to do with feeling sorry for myself. My disabilities and lack of job.

For over the past month I have been doing this by myself without her. Each day I grow a little stronger. I had to step back and look at myself and say I need to change. not just for R or M but the way I interact with my life as a whole. Do I want to keep heading down this direction? Do I want to keep sliding? Will I just make excuses and use my disabilities as a crutch to be afraid to fail which is totally stupid?

My mood is changing because I'm trying to change. Because i'm consistently having counseling sessions with my therapist to sort through issues.

Because I'm getting back out there and trying to go to the doctors and find out what's wrong and how to deal with that. Because I'm actively praying reading my bible and and working on myself.

I have totally forgiven. Colossions 3:13 states I must forgive or god won't forgive me.

I'm finding little things to make me happy like taking walks by myself or reading my bible or other self help books. Getting advice from my therapist.

The devil had a major major hold on me. I know he did. I'm ashamed of it and alot of things I have said on here.

I'm not sucked in. If I don't talk to her today? Fine. If I do I'll try to make a positive experience of it. Sure I would like to talk to her and build upon yesterday but that may/may not happen.

But that still does not change the fact that I have things and goals set that I am working on for myself.

And yep I was extremely upset about the herpes. Not anymore. I was really wanting and wishing things upon her that no christian man or husband should do



I went through a major major depression and I talked to the doctor again over the past few days. He told me alot of my anger rage and feelings of depression emotional outburts and actions over the past few months were due to the diabetes and stress.

I'm getting the diabetes under control now that I know what is wrong. The next step it to keep the stress down by working out, continueing to exercise. and letting the past die and staying focused on my goals and my bible