"She told me I was selfish. I ignored her and her needs, and she felt terrified to even talk to me because she was scared of my disapproval to everything"
My W told me virtually the same thing. I ignored her feelings, I was selfish etc, and all the time she was getting attention all right, by OM. My W still has anger after 16 months, and its because by channeling her anger towards me, especially by playing the blame game, it allows her to tell herself she made the right decision because of all MY inadequacies.
Again, my W said we might get back together one day. Reason being, if it did not work out with OM, I would accept her back with open arms, which I would of at the time. Being used as a safety net is not my idea of a relationship built on respect, and I'm afraid she is not showing you much of that right now.
Knowing what I know now, I would cancel your trip to the zoo and go dark. She has decided she wants out, so let her deal with her issues on her own. I think she accepted your invitation out of guilt, she is 'cake-eating' and loving the attention.
Puppy Dog Tails would be ideal for this situation. I would suggest doing some intel, check her mobile phone, her bills, or the PC. Particularly the history log in Explorer, I found lots of sites that proved my W was having an affair. I am not definitively saying this is the case, but it looks suspicious.
I had fought to save my M, but I was doing it on her terms. Do it on yours, and if it doesn't work out, then at least you can say you gave it your best shot. Personally, I would file for D, it is counter-intuitive and forces the issue, if she wants to fight for the M, then she will want to talk at least.
Good luck.
Last edited by markhaving probs; 04/09/1011:19 AM.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
