Awoken, Been catching up and sorry about the painful turn of events, but You. Will. Be. Fine. Serenity is dead-on here, as always and pulls no punches in the process.
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
(((((Awoken)))))
I just finshed reading through the past 5 pages and I am so sorry my friend.
I am sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted however I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and truly see the reflection...You did the best you could with what was on your plate.
I don't post much anymore because quite frankly I am a bit disturbed at the turn the board has taken...More about kissing a$$ and being a doormat in each forum then about focusing on becoming a better person...
It took me 14 months to realize I was worth so much more then a crappy spouse who cheated on me...
Fear held me back...I was willing to keep my H around because I feared the unknown and I see so many people here doing that, that it infuriates me...
People willing to accept teeny tiny crumbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe their marriage will survive - What they don't realize is that is just the beginning...
Piecing if you are lucky is hard work and a lot of the people here haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to why all this happened in the first place. (and no I am not buying into the MLC, PTSD, OCD, PMS, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, Bi-Polar etc... - These are all excuses for extremely bad behavior - Every one of these spouses has full mental capacity therefore able to make rationale decisions) ...
I see so very few people actually make it and I am starting to see a lot of "newcomers" who have been here before - That speaks volumes to me...
You deserve better my friend - we all do and I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
(((((Hugs)))))
I too, don't post much anymore because except for the few - like you, Serenity, gima, Gypsy, et al, that I have clicked with - I find it all so draining and painful.
And I am moving on and forward. THE SITCH which preoccupied my every waking moment for well over a year has receded.
"The past is a distant flicker by now And a lesson for another day." Mary Chapin Carpenter
And forgive me a rare instance of skepticism, but after months of sharing in the pain of so many good, decent, principled people, I am reminded of Michelle Weiner-Davis' claim of 85% success rate in Divorce Busting. Well, if that number is to be believed, I figure I should have been exposed to maybe 100-150 Divorce-Busted reconciliations in the past year or so on this board and, frankly, I haven't seen a fraction of a fraction of that. Indeed, I know of three busted divorces.
Work on you for you for your life and for your children and for your future. That is all we can realistically aspire to, here.
