Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

Thanks Allen and everyone on this site for being a friend. It is good to know that I have people that I can talk to. I have drafted an e-mail to send to H. Please tell me what you think.

H, I know that I have made mistakes over the years that have contributed to the problems in our marriage. Not being there for you emotionally, not making you a priority in the marriage by way of quality time, and ignoring your advice are just to name a few. I have admitted these mistakes to you countless times. But, what I think you fail to realize is that you have made mistakes too. Its time that we took ownership of those mistakes.

It's one thing to avoid me and cheat on us with whomever and lie about it but it is another thing to show up on holidays and birthdays acting like you aren't doing anything wrong and treating me like I am the one whose cheating on you.

You haven't even tried to explore reconciliation with me. You are a parent and as a parent, you have an obligation to your wife and children that far outweighs how you feel right now. You owe your children a family and the respect of at least an effort to go into family therapy, rather than making poor excuses and living a bachelor life almost 1000 miles away.

I am telling you this because I believe in forgivness and our marriage. We love you and I married you for life. Our children need their father and financial support is not what they are asking about these days. They want to know where you are. You are not here to see the effects of how your walking away from us is affecting them. You walked out and left me to deal with everything, including raising three children, while you are off playing the field and not offering any commitment of working on our marriage. You already know how this affair has hurt me and the kids. Please stop running from your problems and stop the infidelity.