Faith without works... (my new thread)

[james217]

We sit down and order and eat. She’s playfully touching my feet. We feed each other our meals and drinks. We both chose a slightly alcoholic beverage. We’re talking and laughing and joking.

We feed each other some more and then leave taking our food with us. We hug and kiss consistently while we wait on the bus and the passion is greater than I’ve ever felt with her. She says the same. She tells me how much she has enjoyed today. How she sees how things can go when we have fun and enjoy each other.

Then we get on the bus and we’re both pretty sleepy. We get to the train and she lays her head on my shoulder and falls asleep.

We get to where we finally have to part ways (about six hours have passed) and she asks me what is in my back pack.

I smile and hand her her bible. I also give her 3 red roses (her favorite color) a red and white teddy bear a red outfit for her to lounge in at her place and some money to tie her over since she starts her new job next week and she’s pretty much been struggling with food and paying for the bus (she cannot drive due to her epilepsy).

She hugs me and kisses me passionately and runs to catch her bus packing up everything with her. I immediately get text messages saying how much fun she has had today. How much she enjoyed my company. How she enjoyed just ONE DAY OF US NOT ARGUEING OR POINTING FINGERS OR PLAYING THE BLAME GAME.

She calls me consitently and I don’t answer. Don’t want to seem desperate or too available. I wait til I get home after my father picks me up from the train station and head back home. I wait 2 hours from that point to respond to her texts and calls.

We start laughing and joking again. Talking about the day. Laughing at how goofy we both were. How much fun we had. Not once did we really talk about the R. I didn’t pressure her to come home or say anything about it.

The thing is I checked the call history over the past 24 hours and there has not been a single call to any OM whatsoever. Not one. Just me (consistently) and my SILs and nothing else.

She said she had too much time on her hands as well. She said she needed to get refocused on what mattered the most and smiled at me and brought up the kids.

I don’t know what’s going to happen now but I’m taking it one day at a time. With my life with my wife and with my health. That’s all I can do. I can’t rush it. I can’t be impatient. Our situation didn’t become like this overnight and it’s not gonna change overnight either.

I’m enrolled in a 12 week anger management program and WAW smiled. Just found out ill be in it with my therapist today. She said it would really be a good thing. I know my temper has been out of control due to the diabetes and sickness but I need to work on this too.

The yelling and screaming at each other needs to stop permanently before it escalates like it has like 3 or 4 times in our M. Both parties guilty of it.

So did I mess up? Will there be 2x4s?