Faith without works... (my new thread)

[james217]

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804070#Post1804070

old thread up above

I decided it was time for a new thread. Trying to leave the drama behind me.

Let me start off by saying that I respect a lot of posters on here. I appreciate all the help hugs kind words and advice.

I believe that I need to go semi dark and grey. Here’s why. Here’s what has occurred. Over the past month my WAW has said a lot of things to me.

I don’t listen.
She’s tired of argueing.
She doesn’t feel like I’ll ever forgive her
I keep throwing things in her face
I wasn’t romantic with her or complimenting.
Etc etc etc

I believe I pushed my WAW right into the arms of chatlines and other men with UNINTENTIONAL VERBAL ABUSE. I realized that by having conversations with my own parents. The negativity. The argueing and screaming at me and each other. They have been married for over 35 years, but it’s always the blame game. It has made me not want to be here after just a week. So I now understand how WAW feels. I asked myself am I really this way? Do I want to continue to be this way? Is this how I want my relationship to be? Don’t get me wrong it WORKS FOR MY PARENTS but it does NOT WORK FOR WAW and I have had to adjust my approach.

I will probably get more 2x4s for alot of stuff but let's start from what has occured over the past 28 hours.

First I did the affair busting. I mean I texted every single guy and told them my w was married with 3 kids and about the herpes she gave me.

I got a few replies back. Some didn’t. WAW was extremely upset. I didn’t care. Not only was I affair busting but I felt they had a right to know. Unlike me.

Around 10 a.m. yesterday, WAW turned off her phone. Totally. Straight to voicemail. Then the texts and phone calls began and voicemails. Angry, Upset, Irate, and then finally acceptance. I didn’t answer a single call or text. Nothing. Zip. Nada.

I’m getting ready for my job interview. She is still leaving text messages crying. I still don’t answer. She says she really needs to talk to me is crying her head off and texting and calling like crazy. She said she really really really needs to talk to me and is crying in a way I’ve never seen her before. An unmanipulative way. I finally pick up. I’m almost at my job interview and my mother is in the car.

She states that she does not know what she is doing anymore. That she needs help. I just listen. Say much of nothing. The only reason I answered is because I could tell she was on the verge of having a seizure and I wanted to calm her down.

We began talking. She expressed herself. I did most of it. I told her how I felt about the OMS. I told her how I felt about her giving them things she had not given me recently. I explained about my parents. She agreed that it won’t work for us and was a major major reason for her leaving. She stated she was so tired of us argueing. She was tired of feeling like she was an awful mother and wife. She said she hated feeling that way. I told her exactly what I felt about OMs again. We began reading our bibles together. She said my tone of voice was condescending like parents again. I apologized and we read more bible verses. About God’s role for each of us in our M.

(continued below) to prevent from being so long)