I'm so proud of you!!!! I know its hard - but you are handling this SOOO well! The greif comes in waves... you just have to ride them out.
Mke sure you prepare a will and stuff - don't want that hard earned house to be screwed up in probate!!!
IMHO - FWIW - Don't send the heart letter. It won't do what you want it to , you won't get a response that will help you, and you don't deserve to deal with the fall out - what ever that might end up being. None of the things you say are going to matter to H so say them here and leave it at that.
HUGS
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current