I am humbled that you would ask for my thoughts. I agree with a lot of what you have been told, and disagree with some of the other advice. When it comes down to it, you must be happy with your choices. I can't imagine what your going through with an open knowledge of OM.
Did I read correctly that this is the OM she was with before she met you?
Here are a few things from my perspective for you to consider.
First, I have seen a few posts from Coach, and it is good stuff in my opinion.
This is based on my belief, but I do not encourage you to date, even casually, while in this process. In my opinion, you do not want to play that game with your wife. You need to be the mature on right now. I would tend to agree with your DB counselor Chuck on that...as well as your faith.
Now I don't know the answer to this, but what message would it send to your wife if she knew that you were NOT seeing someone else? Is it possible that some men in her life have disappointed her? Is this a way you could show strength? I can't answer this, but it could be possible that her summer trip could be a reaction to you seeing other women...again I can't answer that, though.
I remember reading in one of your posts that you have a few sentences of "I told her....". Use the old adage of two ears and one mouth for a reason. You do NOT have to agree with her, but you can affirm that you hear what she is saying. The more you listen, the more she will reveal.
You had mentioned she said that God wants this divorce. Have you asked her non confrontationally why she feels that way?
And, as a final thought, whenever possible, I would encourage you to be cooperative vs confrontational whenever possible. This does not mean that you roll over, but I have seen times where the WAS wants something and it can ultimately lead to a consequence to them for their decision.
