Talia's New Home

[talia]

So needless to say.. I'm a basketcase tonight. I've been crying all afternoon on and off - trying to hide it from the people at work - they know someone died though so I think they are chalking it up to that. I can't believe that H is acting this way and that he keeps accusing me of doing that he is doing. I'm not making this difficult for him - I've only done things to make it easier up until I started forcing his hand with the actual D papers 3 weeks ago. I've paid my "fair share" according to his math since he left. I packed his $h!t when he moved out. I assumed all the responsibilty for "our" life whild he ran off with that whore. I haven't bad mnouthed him once - to ANYONE. I have only focused on fixing my issues and finding a way to deal with the situation I've been handed. I haven't begged him to come home since the first month - I've honored his decision and respected his space and privacy. I have given up my relationshiop with all mutual friends so he didn't have to make them "choose". other than the fact that I refused to leave my home I've pretty much done everything he's asked of me. I've been totally honest when appropriate .
He has lied , he has manipulated every situation he possibly can. He said horrible things about me to all our mutual friends. He yells at me and brings up all the reasons its my fault every time I don't do what he wants.


I just CAN'T understand how in the world he can behave this way. It just blows my mind. I don't know what to do or how to respond. Its like he has this idea of how I'm going to be and he's doing everything he can to MAKE me in to that person. He refuses to actually see how I've been - he only see's what is in his crazy f*ed up world. I can't take it any more!!!!!!!

I have hit all time high with the stress level....

T