5 weeks left to DB - need help with my plan

[Piano]

I’ve moved into newcomers from Infidelity in the hope I’ll get more advice. My old thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1954556#Post1954556

Baby #1 arrives in 5 weeks time.

Please can I reassure you all: baby is my priority, we are both healthy, I am strong, and I am going to be a great mum.

But before the baby arrives, I want to give this DB’ing the best shot I can.

And I need your help to achieve that.


Quick recap and sitch today:
-WAH has told me to move on. M is over. Nothing I can do to change his mind. Has given no reasons for his unhappiness prior to Bomb - revelation of PA and “ILYBINILWY”. Says he has “given his heart” to OW.
-Current Status of PA unknown (he last said ‘there is no relationship’, then when pressed for detail: “none of my business”). OW lives in Europe.
-PA was widely exposed early on.
-I did everything wrong in first few months and pushed him away. I was even hysterical on one occasion when I realised he was lying about PA being over. Said he was scared of me.
-NC for 5 weeks after that. Email contact only now. Civil.
-WAH lives at a friend’s place and his plan is to “ride out the storm until the baby is born”. After that....?
- WAH wants to go back to Europe to live. When...?
- WAH wants to be the “father” of the baby. “I love this baby already and want to be its father”. Unable to articulate in practical terms what that means. Though assures 100% financial support. Btw, his father left just after his birth and he only met him a couple of times.
-WAH hopes to be ‘best friends’ with me until the day we die.
-WAH has isolated himself. This is also taking place 10,000kms away from his core friendship and family relationships. No-one is challenging him – many just keeping away.
-I think he has had a sort of breakdown due to numerous major life changes (on job front – now unemployed, health, moving countries, becoming a Dad..the list goes on) and he complicated it by having a PA with family friend.
- Told me he is going to stop seeing his IC cos "he doesn't really need him anymore".

I think WAH pressed the self-destruct button on our M and Fatherhood, and has opted for an easy exit down the path of being “in love” and no responsibility.

Now I need strong advice on how to handle the following wishes and a way to proceed... I feel on such unsure footing with him, especially with regards to whether or not he'll be in the country to father, let alone what all this means for our M:

-WAH has emailed and said “He wants to help me in the final weeks of my pregnancy but is afraid of acrimony and more hurt for both of us”. I replied that the way he can help me is to meet with a parenting therapist to talk about how he can find a way to effectively parent.
- Sent him that accidental email (remember Puppy, R2C?!) and need to follow up with a “I wasn’t joking – please collect your belongings by ....” sort of email.
- His younger brother is arriving from Europe next week and is staying with me (WAH has no accommodation & bro no money). I am close to younger bro but need to set boundaries. Also don’t know how to remain mysterious and go DIM if younger bro is able to 'report' on me (unintentionally).
Too late to tell him not to come and stay.
-Have redirected my Maternity pay to a personal account. WAH agreed it was a good idea. I am wondering when and how to tackle splitting the rest of our accounts, but not splitting the apartment. I am giving birth soon and a move is not practical for many months.
- I desperately want to tell him I cannot be friends, let alone best friends with him after the destruction he has brought on me and his unborn child. I feel like I will never live with myself If I don’t say this.
- I also want to send him a LET HIM GO Robx-style letter.

I know I need to let him go... no point resisting.... But my plan is all a'jumble.

Thank you for helping me to work out some sort of plan & timeline...