It was an EA and had been confronted and pretty much over. The task was now to focus on positive changes form the person I was and DB. Also prevent any future A in the process.
Don't worry OIN, I don't think DLS is reading you full thread, he's trying to help.
You are cool. We may need to get more creative here, but right NOW... dont make a big deal about the fight... it's ok to look sorry, its ok to feel sorry, but do NOT chase her around the hosue trying to apologize.
I honeslty think she KNOWS SHE put into the fight too.
YOU could have just left her alone to stew like was suggested earlier.. and I AGREE.. so your mistake was getting involved in that mess.
HER mistake was taking her upset out on YOU. She PICKED that fight with you... don't fool yourself into thinking that was you. SHE was a BOMB waiting to go off and YOU decided that YOU should go disable the BOMB... and guess what?
BOOM!!!
Sometimes you just gotta let the woman stew over something and NOT try to FIX it.
Hang in there... you did set yourself back about six weeks, but I think this is reparable. You are sorry for the damage you DID do when she picked the fight.
You are a cop here, you know how to h andle it when someone tries to pick a fight with you.. you be teh BIGGER MAN and BACK OFF right?
She picked that fight with you. She was pissed and took a few hits at you, and you threw a solid hit back at her instead of backing off.
I would work on the letter... just keep things quiet for now... I think this is reparable.. I've been there man... I had fights with my wife too while she was cheating and she blasted me big time and I blasted her back... similar to how you did...
One night I tried to explain to my wife her cheating on my wasn't a fair arrangement and she can't expect us to get any better under thsoe conditions. I ended up confronting her and telling her I am pulling the plug on the house (our mortgage was up for renewal).
ME : I have no intention of renewing the mortgage. I will continue to want our marriage to work, but I am not going to support an affair taking place on that comptuer in our very own home. If our home has to fall apart for you to see the damage you are doing so be it.
HER : DOn't throw ultimatims at me. How dare you threaten me!
ME : You've been threatening me with your infidelity!
HER : How so?
ME : It's an ultimatim.
HER : What ultimatim?
ME : Your actions tell me every day "Do what you are told mister or I will go and F$#K that guy"
She screamed soemthing at me incoherent at the top of her lungs and stomped off.
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Its similar to your exchange.
Good news OIN... My wife's still here. There is hope.
You are gonna need to come up with some new tricks though.
I think a letter explaining your changes and the motivation behind them may help a lot here.
Your situation sounds so much like the movie Fireproof it's shocking!
