Invinceable

[mishka422]

OT - YOU ARE AWESOME!!! I love your post. I am soaking it in and taking it to heart. I will tell you that I started a brief conversation with him today about what he thinks this is. He said he "didn't expect it, didn't plan it, it just ended up that way and it was fun." Whew! That is exactly what I was thinking. It just happened (ok....honestly....'just' happened 3 times now. ) and I'm not going to dwell on it. I spoke more than I ever have to him about what I want right now.

1)This was fun. There are no expectations.

2)Condoms will ALWAYS be used, no exceptions, no 'awww...come on. You're spoiling the mood.' I told him I don't know where he's been and I'm not willing to risk my life for sex. He kept saying he hasn't been with anyone and not even with OW for a while but I called BS on him and told him that I have no trust where he is concerned. He can keep talking but all I'm going to hear about it is 'blah, blah, blah, lie, lie, deception, lie'. No offense, but that's the way it is. Condoms or nothing. He said he understood that.

3)If I feel myself getting emotionally connected to him or feel like I am adjusting myself to him I will pull back. I told him not to take that personally but I have worked too hard to become true to myself and my own feelings and I'm still a work in progress. If that is threatened because we are having some fun together, then I have to pull back. He says he understands that too. We'll see.

That was as much time as we had to talk but I think I have established what I need for now.

BBJ - The exercise is making me feel good, but my body hasn't changed at all yet. My legs are a little stronger and I've lost about 10 pounds total. Considering the amount I need to lose, that's not much but it's something. I do have some PMA just because I feel like there has to be something partially attractive about me (at least to him) for him to be acting like an 18 year old horny teenager.

Dylan - YOU CRACK ME UP!!!!!!! I laughed so hard I was tearing up. Keep the jokes coming (pun intended).