How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

After this morning we went up to the hospital for a visit. We were met there by my W father. He asked if we had anything planned for today and we should (my W and I) take a ride together somewhere.

My W and I left and we went for a bite to eat then walked around the mall. My W is not into the facebook thing but does have a facebook account. OMW sister had left my W a message on there with many threats. The message was dated a few weeks back but this was the first time my W had seen it. It instantly put her in a bad mood which I tried to calm her from but was not working. My W had told me not to delete the message...and I said "I won't, I would not do that to you" she said "Cause I want to save it." and stupid me said "Why so you can show OM?" and my W got upset, understandably.

When we got in the car my W read the entire message and said something along the lines of "I usually don't hate people without knowing them first but I HATE OMW. She does not know me and she all she does is disrespect me" and I said "do you not ever think that maybe these people feel disrespected by you?"

My W got VERY upset and said "OK, I see whose side your taking." I said "Your my W I will support you and only you" and she replies "That does not matter."

I said "All I am saying in everyone involved got disrespect and their feelings hurt from this whole situation so please don't feel like your the only victim" and of course that made it even worse.

We get home, my W asked if I can go get the laptop and I said yes, but I had to clean up a little mess the dog made first. While doing so she went and grabbed the laptop herself saying something under hear breath as she walked away. My W hooked the printer up and I asked "Your not going to print that out are you?" and she said "Yes." My W wanted documentation just in case OMW and sister did live up to their words which I understand. My W thought I had a problem with that and got even more upset.

I was digging myself into a deeper hole and getting upset myself. I wanted to say so much but all I could say at the time but I would open my mouth stop and say "never mind it does not matter" and more W would say "No say what you gotta say, tell me how you feel" and went I started to she would cut me off and say "does not matter anyway." I told my W I realized what a terrible person I was and I needed to change not just for our marriage but for me as well. I needed a new outlook on life. My W said she would NEVER forgive me for what I done. I said in return, I know you say that and I hope one day you will be until then I need forgiveness from God, so I could forgive myself and hopefully one day you will too. She made it bvery clear that one day will never come.

My W then started to say how this marriage will be over soon. She is happy I am making changes but she does not see them and that she is trying to find happiness herself. She said her first step to happiness is when she leaves and never sees me again and her name is changed. I said in response "If that is what would really make you happy, understand I don't want this, but I will leave here now and give you that happiness" she said "no it is your house because I don't want it. I have my room and you have yours." She continues to say some harsh things and it got the very best of me and she had something that set me off so much that I said "So what you can move on and F OM?" I could not believe I said that......she was furious. she then said "YOu know what? that right there proves you DID NOT CHANGE" that you are the same person you always where.

My W then proceeded to say how everything I had done up to this point was a front.

My W eventually walked away and said something. I sat my phone down and she picked it up and opened the browser where she discovered this site. And started to read one of my posts. I felt that it would only make matters worse so I took the phone from her. I said "I am sorry. I have nothing to hide but if you read this you will understand how I truly feel about you and this marriage and you will more than likely get more upset" and she said "whatever it does not matter" I don't know what she thought it was but she said "I will assume then, just like you always use to do"

She told me it was all pointless that there is nothing I could do to save this marriage. I told her that "just because you say you don't love me anymore or want to be with me does not mean that I don't love you or want this marriage to work. It is very important to me. I will keep working on this marriage until there is no more hope." She told me there is no hope and I will soon learn that once she leaves and I will never see her again and asked "what are you going to do then?"

She closed the door on me...I tried to justify my earlier comment about OM. Sure it was something that lingered in the back of my mind since it all began if it had got physical and I had some evidence to ASSUME it did but could never know for certain. My W would not listen and said "Any chance that there may have been is now GONE with that comment" and when she came out I tried once again to explain to her what lead me to say that and she said "I am trying to relax, and you just making me more upset" and here we are now....

WOW the day was going descent and I just destroyed my W for a second time. I am sure there are some details I left out, just trying to think clearly.

I don't know what my next step should be...go a head with the proceedings? go Dark in a sense? I don't know.