First - your W said she left the OM (or he left her). This is a great sign. She wants sex. Again, great sign. She acknowledges issues and you do to - excellent!
Could I ask you some questions: 1. Do you think her anxiety issue is getting dealt with?
2. Do you think the OM is gone?
3. Does she know you understand your M problems let her feel the OM met her needs more than you in a moment of bad (very bad/evil) judgement?
4. Does she know that the door to your H is her house and she is welcome back?
5. Would she try going to Retrouvaille to see if it might spark some love?
6. Dates, including sex, might lead to love. Have you read, "His needs, Her needs"?
7. Deep down, do you believe she was having sex with the OM? If so, are you sure you are OK with it?
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Some ideas to consider right away:
*You're doing great, keep working on your own issues. *If you lose it, apologize. *Touch if it feels right. If she asked for sex, she wants your touch. *Make sure you always remember that while IDLY might feel terrible, it can't be argued off. Emotions are never right or wrong.
I never loved my wife. Probably, my 'love bank' for her had a low balance throughout our M. Now, I feel a lot more for her. If the theory holds true, my 'love bank' for her is much more full. It is so full that her love has influence and impact on me each day. I can imagine if your W feels nothing but she used to, then meeting her emotional needs may help her love again.
