(((Serenity))) I came back when I had a few minutes to give a detailed reply to your earlier post here, only to discover that you had already made another post. As always, thank you.
Originally Posted By: Serenity
focusing on becoming a better person...
That's the whole point, and it's so easy to lost focus on it.
As I said before, I'm not blaming this on my W's bipolar, achoholism, whatever. This is want initially attracted me to DB: taking care of yourself so that no matter what the outcome, you will be a better person as a result.
Originally Posted By: Serenity
Fear held me back...I was willing to keep my H around because I feared the unknown and I see so many people here doing that, that it infuriates me...
oh, I have to think hard about this one. My W basically told me that she only stayed M to me all these years, and avoided ever telling me her M concerns, out of FEAR over what would happen. How has fear held me back? Maybe I was scared of the same thing. Thank you for pointing this out.
Originally Posted By: Serenity
I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
Thank you; you are in my prayers too. At the risk of sounding like a doormat; let's include my W in those prayers too. I'm working on my anger anyway!
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
Awoken, Been catching up and sorry about the painful turn of events, but You. Will. Be. Fine. Serenity is dead-on here, as always and pulls no punches in the process.
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
(((((Awoken)))))
I just finshed reading through the past 5 pages and I am so sorry my friend.
I am sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted however I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and truly see the reflection...You did the best you could with what was on your plate.
I don't post much anymore because quite frankly I am a bit disturbed at the turn the board has taken...More about kissing a$$ and being a doormat in each forum then about focusing on becoming a better person...
It took me 14 months to realize I was worth so much more then a crappy spouse who cheated on me...
Fear held me back...I was willing to keep my H around because I feared the unknown and I see so many people here doing that, that it infuriates me...
People willing to accept teeny tiny crumbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe their marriage will survive - What they don't realize is that is just the beginning...
Piecing if you are lucky is hard work and a lot of the people here haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to why all this happened in the first place. (and no I am not buying into the MLC, PTSD, OCD, PMS, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, Bi-Polar etc... - These are all excuses for extremely bad behavior - Every one of these spouses has full mental capacity therefore able to make rationale decisions) ...
I see so very few people actually make it and I am starting to see a lot of "newcomers" who have been here before - That speaks volumes to me...
You deserve better my friend - we all do and I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
(((((Hugs)))))
I too, don't post much anymore because except for the few - like you, Serenity, gima, Gypsy, et al, that I have clicked with - I find it all so draining and painful.
And I am moving on and forward. THE SITCH which preoccupied my every waking moment for well over a year has receded.
"The past is a distant flicker by now And a lesson for another day." Mary Chapin Carpenter
And forgive me a rare instance of skepticism, but after months of sharing in the pain of so many good, decent, principled people, I am reminded of Michelle Weiner-Davis' claim of 85% success rate in Divorce Busting. Well, if that number is to be believed, I figure I should have been exposed to maybe 100-150 Divorce-Busted reconciliations in the past year or so on this board and, frankly, I haven't seen a fraction of a fraction of that. Indeed, I know of three busted divorces.
Work on you for you for your life and for your children and for your future. That is all we can realistically aspire to, here.
Last edited by Gardener; 04/09/1002:57 AM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Awoken, Been catching up and sorry about the painful turn of events, but You. Will. Be. Fine. Serenity is dead-on here, as always and pulls no punches in the process.
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
(((((Awoken)))))
I just finshed reading through the past 5 pages and I am so sorry my friend.
I am sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted however I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and truly see the reflection...You did the best you could with what was on your plate.
I don't post much anymore because quite frankly I am a bit disturbed at the turn the board has taken...More about kissing a$$ and being a doormat in each forum then about focusing on becoming a better person...
It took me 14 months to realize I was worth so much more then a crappy spouse who cheated on me...
Fear held me back...I was willing to keep my H around because I feared the unknown and I see so many people here doing that, that it infuriates me...
People willing to accept teeny tiny crumbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe their marriage will survive - What they don't realize is that is just the beginning...
Piecing if you are lucky is hard work and a lot of the people here haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to why all this happened in the first place. (and no I am not buying into the MLC, PTSD, OCD, PMS, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, Bi-Polar etc... - These are all excuses for extremely bad behavior - Every one of these spouses has full mental capacity therefore able to make rationale decisions) ...
I see so very few people actually make it and I am starting to see a lot of "newcomers" who have been here before - That speaks volumes to me...
You deserve better my friend - we all do and I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
(((((Hugs)))))
I too, don't post much anymore because except for the few - like you, Serenity, gima, Gypsy, et al, that I have clicked with - I find it all so draining and painful.
And I am moving on and forward. THE SITCH which preoccupied my every waking moment for well over a year has receded.
"The past is a distant flicker by now And a lesson for another day." Mary Chapin Carpenter
And forgive me a rare instance of skepticism, but after months of sharing in the pain of so many good, decent, principled people, I am reminded of Michelle Weiner-Davis' claim of 85% success rate in Divorce Busting. Well, if that number is to be believed, I figure I should have been exposed to maybe 100-150 Divorce-Busted reconciliations in the past year or so on this board and, frankly, I haven't seen a fraction of a fraction of that. Indeed, I know of three busted divorces.
Work on you for you for your life and for your children and for your future. That is all we can realistically aspire to, here.
And forgive me a rare instance of skepticism, but after months of sharing in the pain of so many good, decent, principled people, I am reminded of Michelle Weiner-Davis' claim of 85% success rate in Divorce Busting. Well, if that number is to be believed, I figure I should have been exposed to maybe 100-150 Divorce-Busted reconciliations in the past year or so on this board and, frankly, I haven't seen a fraction of a fraction of that. Indeed, I know of three busted divorces.
I know of 4 - Possibly 5...I am actually going to take this to my thread because I have a few words to say on this exact subject.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
