embracing change

[CityGirl]

If something is going on a mistake will happen soon. I simply let ALL the info come to me, never asked any questions to anybody and actually kept all this to myself for five months.

Do you and your H share a family cell plan? If so log on to the account and see if your carrier keeps a running log of all calls made and received. You won't see names but you will see numbers/times/dates/length of call and so on. I know both AT&T and Verizon wireless have this feature.

[flowmom]

No, I have no access to his cell/email, etc.

I am frustrated at myself. I knew he was going to do this. I shouldn't make his getting on with his life into a crisis in MY day. It would suck no matter who the OW is. It doesn't really matter who it is. Actually, at least I know she is a good mother and I don't have to worry about my kids being around her.

[rr22]

FM: Don't ask him yet. I'll write you on alt.

[Kalni]

If he uses your PC at home, install a keylogger, it works

[flowmom]

He only uses his laptop and I have no access.

[Gnosis]

((( Flo ))) Stay strong. Don't react. Plan your next step. This is a major blow you have just received. Take your time to digest.

[Freckle6]

I am livid for you if this 2+2 equals 4.

In your place, I would probably be firing off an email saying that, "I been hearing some things around and I don't know if there's anything to them or not. But I just wanted to ask that as the mother of your children and as your legal wife, that I believe I deserve the respect to hear it from you if you are dating or seeing any of our mutual friends or acquaintances. You know this isn't what I wanted for us, so please have the decency to be honest with me so that I'm not fodder for local gossip as a stereotypical, the wife was the last to know. Thank you."

[idontunderstand]

(((FM)))

Stay strong! You have made it this far and you have the strength in you. This is a major blow but handle it as you have handled yourself so far: With much dignity.

[mb28]

flowmom, I thought you could use this today:

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition
(or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant
to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find
what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you, as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like
he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think, "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different
women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat
you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers
you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.
He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's
behavior.
Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even
if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a
quasi-God.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two
way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not
supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are,
and your always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never cosign for a man.
(Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!)
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another
rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes a
minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to
love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.


"When I do good, I feel good;
when I do bad, I feel bad,
and that is my religion."
- Abraham Lincoln

"What hurts more than losing you,
is knowing you're not fighting to keep me."
- Anonymous
________________________________________

[flowmom]

Thanks for all the support. I'm not going to do anything about the possible A today. I feel calmer after having a walk.