You should read through officer in need's thread.. he was in a similar situation to yours. His wife was in an EA and he called OM's wife and complained. His calling regularly put a HUGE black could over the affair and stressed the two cheaters out quite a bit... the affair on his end is pretty much over from what I can read... OM doens't talk to his wife at all and even changed shifts at work to avoid her.
It really is an interesting experiement to see how much stress exposure puts on the OP when you go after THEIR home and turn THEIR home upside down with the TRUTH... seems to cause them quite a lot of panic I'd say... too bad they are just getting a MILD taste of what they've been doing in secret for weeks... and YOU are really just HELPING their marriage to be honest... I don't think you are doing ANY DAMAGE to the MARRIAGE... you are just exposing an affair and warning the OWH about it.. hardly compares to the sleazy game this woman's been playing...
OfficerInNeed attacked that well.. all he did was made it clear to his wife and OM that he's putting everyone's cards on the table to protect BOTH marriages... people can't complain when you put it like that...
I know she's getting bitchy when you contact her husband, but I really do think its helping put an end to that affair..
The more I read her writing the more I can see how pissed she is that you spoiled everything and ARE spoiling things for her... you are taking her cake away adn she clearly doens't like it.
The more I think about it, the more I mistrust the facebook post. Why would she say "this is not just for show" if it was honest. Thou doth protest too much, as they say. When I am being honest, I do not start out with saying "I'm being honest here." Maybe Jesus did with his "verily, I say unto you..." But most of us do not.
OK, not to go all Ross-Perot-there's-a-little-green-man-behind-every-shrub on y'all or anything, but . . .
Am I the only one wondering if perhaps this other couple are SWINGERS, or maybe OW's H is a cuckold?
The more I read her writing the more I can see how pissed she is that you spoiled everything and ARE spoiling things for her... you are taking her cake away adn she clearly doens't like it.
Am I a mean person if that made me smile?
I've been reading OIN's thread. I'm on page 25. He's done very well so far. I'm very happy to hear the ending may be better than the beginning.
Passenger I will WARN you about somethign too though.
YOu gave OWH a copy of divorce busting.
It seems reasonable to think she MAY stumble upon this website since she knows you gave him that book.
If there are any clues to who you are from your username you may want to change your username and start a new post to ensure you keep your anonymity here. I have seen cases where a cheating WS or even the OW came on the forum to do counter intelligence on the LBS.
It may take OW some time to find this forum, but just keep it in mind she MAY find it.
It is something that really frustrates me about this forum's policies -
1. Editing is limited to only a few minutes, after that the post can't be changed 2. You can't delete your posts 3. You can't delete threads you OWN 4. The forum is public access, it requires you to just create a simple system account and supply an email address and you're in.
I didn't think of that. I don't know if she'd find me here. Maybe... there aren't many people on the infidelity forum... hmmm. Something to think about. I decided not to tell him about the website, but you're right, it's in the book. Yikes. Wonder if the mods would delete something if we called and requested it for potential safety issues.
I've been reading OIN's thread. I'm on page 25. He's done very well so far. I'm very happy to hear the ending may be better than the beginning.
Smile all you want, I don't think its vendictiveness as much as it is just a sense of justice here.
OIN's thread is an excellent one for you to read.. well, the first half.. Once its clear the OM there is out of hte picture it may not be as constructive a reference.
BUT... the beginning should give you a lot of confidence AND help demonstrate to you how LONG it takes to get teh contact to TRULY END. It took OIN a LOT more than just TWO days to put a stop to that affair. And HE'sa COP lol
It will hopefully give you some insights though... I hope you can see how much stress his exposure over there put on that home to clean itself up. I think that accounted for the bulk of why the affair there got busted.
And as I read OW's notes on your thread here, your HUSBAND sounds JUST LIKE OfficerInNeed's WIFE .. they are BOTH pissed that you went to the OP's home and blew the whole thing into the open and kept calling.
If your spouse is cheating on you, and what you are doing is pissing them off, you are probably doin somthing right... so keep at it.
I didn't think of that. I don't know if she'd find me here. Maybe... there aren't many people on the infidelity forum... hmmm. Something to think about. I decided not to tell him about the website, but you're right, it's in the book. Yikes. Wonder if the mods would delete something if we called and requested it for potential safety issues.
You would have to make a VERY STRONG case to have them remove anything... they do NOT like to remove posts... I have seen users ask in teh past and they just got waved off..
You can just start a new thread if you want... its up to you to decide how vulnerable things are... but ya I wouldn't tell H about this site at all
The more I think about it, the more I mistrust the facebook post. Why would she say "this is not just for show" if it was honest. Thou doth protest too much, as they say. When I am being honest, I do not start out with saying "I'm being honest here." Maybe Jesus did with his "verily, I say unto you..." But most of us do not.
OK, not to go all Ross-Perot-there's-a-little-green-man-behind-every-shrub on y'all or anything, but . . .
Am I the only one wondering if perhaps this other couple are SWINGERS, or maybe OW's H is a cuckold?
Puppy
Well some of us are "cuckhold" against our choice. My natural inclination is someone who is fooling with a woman of mine, who is long term relationship or wife should be destroyed. I'm not a natural "cuckhold" who gets pleasure from the humiliation of being cheated on.
Maybe now would be a good time to back off a bit. Right now you're going through analysis paralysis where you're breaking down everything he's doing. It'll drive you totally nuts. We've all been there.
You've made your point and maybe see where it goes from there. I don't think you need to stay overly friendly towards him like you have been. Start letting go a little and see if he follows. You're going to have to give it some time though. That's why they say that DBing takes alot of patience.
When it comes down to it, you really can't control what your H and the OW are going to do. It's like two teenagers sneaking off. If they want to get together, they'll find a way.
I think you need to have the boundary set up with consequences. With you being so "friendly" to him he really hasn't had a chance to see what his hurtful actions have done.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Last time, it took a year and a half, and H admitted to cake eating in the end. This time, he's SURE he hasn't loved me for 12 years... it hurts a bit more, or maybe I'm worn down more from it being a second time... but yes, I have already given him to God and said to Him that I would work on myself and let Him handle H.
Then I start driving and scheming on how to get him to go to Retro still... LOL. Some way to Let Go Let God, right? It's going to take time and patience with myself to get to the point where I'm able to entirely just have patience with the situation. If you were to read my old posts, I had one poster who continually admonished me "PATIENCE." LOL
And yes, Puppy, I have also wondered if he was a cuckold. She's domineering and he's VERY passive, and was ready RIGHT AWAY to take her back. Doesn't check up on her or anything. When he caught her kissing another man at a party, his condition to taking her back was that whenever she drives an hour away and stays overnight, she texts him to let him know she's safe and not with any men. Yeah, no help there.
