I will put my 5 cents in here:

My H said he was done, that he is in love with OW and that he can't live without her. Said that "His heart is marked and there is no going back and that our marriage has come to an end"(in an affair for 1 year).

Yet -

Never asked for divorce
Never told his dad that he'd left us
On many occasions he would ask me if I've already told my family and seemed relieved that I didn't.
Wasn't interested in separating our finances
Wanted to continue everything as before (our business, joint accounts) accept replace me as a wife with OW.


M53 H54 D17
M33Y T38Y
Bomb OW 09/09
OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10
WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10
Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO