I really think he's done now. At least in the current state he's in. We'll see if and when withdrawal happens. I need to get on his emails again, I bet I'll find she's still there.
He's not "done". He's FEELING HOPELESS. Waywardness DOES that.
As YOU FIGHT for your marriage, it slowly builds confidence in him again. But you can't look desperate, its humiliating to you, and it just casues him to lose respect for you.
Learn to read how he FEELS when he says soemthing.
"You saving all my love letters means nothing" - = "What I'm feeling is guilt, anger, and hopelessness"
You have to understand that he likley DOES feel some guilt, but its subconscious, hes not likely even very well aware of it... he's feeling STRESS from guilt, but he READS that as HOPELESSNESS for his marriage
His anger and hopelessness make it EASIER for his mind to reconcile with his guilt.
If YOU are the SOURCE of the problem, then he doens't have to feel guilty. He's rationalizing verbally to reduce his stress level.
And as long as he's angry, he doens't have to feel guilty.. Anger suppresses guilt.
You need to learn to read his feelings right now or you will take what he says to heart and beat yourself up.. and you won't be able to fight for a marriage if you feel hopeless and beat up as much as he does.
