I am not telling you what to do here. I certainly have no right to do that. I will ask you to take a little time to reflect on what your wife is saying TO you.
I am not in any way saying she is right, but she is disclosing a little bit of how she FEELS. I can't imagine how painful it is for you to know about the OM in the picture.
This is from my perspective only, but here are a few things to consider based on comments above.
She told you she FEELS like you are trying to drive the devil out of her.
You rebutted her by saying "I'm just trying to...."
You talked (briefly) about a divorce lawyer.
She ASKED you to be patient with her.
She FEELS you violated her by going to the man at the church she FELT was helping her. And now she FEELS like she can no longer turn to him.
You can take or leave what I have to say, and I'm OK with that. But I think you may have an opportunity here.
Having OM in the picture is not good, but from a lot of what I read, sometimes a WAW will go to OM because she FEELS he is listening to her.
So, when your wife is telling you how SHE FEELS, consider not rebutting her, but just listen to her. She is disclosing a lot. What if you could be the guy who she FEELS comfortable disclosing her emotions to?
I am not Catholic, but share your basic beliefs. You have mentioned before if I remember correctly that you enjoy debate. Debate is a means of influence.
Is it possible that your best means of influence with your wife right now is with your ears?
Again, just food for thought from my perspective....
