WHAT??? Are you serious? How did you know to look this up online?
This is unbelievable, and I'm so sorry that you found out this way. You absolutely SHOULD have been notified. What would have happened if you hadn't looked online?
I'm so upset right now. I can't imagine how YOU feel about this.
Number8, The local courthouse posts its docket on their website.
Wife has been very friendly lately and I was getting this "I am being nice because our time is short" kinda feeling. She stayed at my place Sunday night and, while sitting in bed Monday morning, I asked "what's going on? Did you sign the papers?" she answered "no" and I followed with "Is there a court date?" She said "yes but I don't want to tell you because you might get upset" then she fell asleep again. While she was sleeping I checked the court's website and saw our names listed "W plaintiff versus H defendant." I was upset but managed to contain my emotions - I was irritated at sad at the same time.
She went back to her place and later went to her weekly counseling session. Coincidentally, she started treatment for PTSD this week and it is expected to stir up a lot of emotions in her (just what we need right?).
She was emotional after her session. I visited with her for a few hours. She told me she loved me for the first time in about 8 months. But she also said "I think I still need to do this."
The hearing was supposed to have been this morning but she cancelled at the last minute. She said she will give this some more thought but will probably go ahead with the divorce in the next week or two.
Last edited by mrbt; 04/06/1004:38 PM.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
Oh, the drama and turmoil! mrbt, this is making me a nervous wreck, and (to borrow an expression from my unique family members) I don't even have a dog in this fight!
I'm very intrigued by her telling you she loves you. Do you think this is possibly a step in the right direction for you both, or is it a fluke?
It's also interesting that she didn't tell you about the court date. I wonder if she had planned to cancel/reschedule it all along.
I hope you're doing well (despite all the events)! Have a great day!
8, She said that she was having second thoughts and the possibility of cancelation was always on her mind. She also said she didn't want me to attend the hearing because it would make it more difficult for her if I was there.
As far as the "I love you" goes. I think this has always been the case but it has never been something she would say. However, her actions often disagree with her words. One detail I left out is that she also told me she is in love with the OM (but she denies still being in contact). She is very conflicted.
I am doing okay but all the drama does make it difficult to focus on things working and getting a life.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
I'm about to show my ignorance here, so be patient with me. I obviously don't know much about this process, but wouldn't your presence be required at a hearing?
As for the OM, how recently did she say she was in love with him?
By your descriptions, I can tell that she's very conflicted. I feel for you both (but you especially since my loyalties lie with you).
Though it's hard, try to enjoy the nice weather. If that doesn't work, then maybe a few sips of wine will do the trick.
I'm about to show my ignorance here, so be patient with me. I obviously don't know much about this process, but wouldn't your presence be required at a hearing?
No. My presence is not required at the hearing. I have already signed the MDA (marital dissolution agreement - this specifies how we divide our assets) and the FD (final decree - this says "yep we are divorced"). As I understand it, its a lot like traffic court at this point. She needs to be there because she is the plaintiff.
Originally Posted By: Number 8
As for the OM, how recently did she say she was in love with him?
This was part of a conversation we had Monday afternoon. It went something like: "I do still love you . . . blah blah blah . . . I also love OM . . . blah blah blah" I also learned (in another conversation) that the OM doesn't want a relationship with her because he is afraid of me - he thinks that even after the divorce I would interfere. I guess he doesn't like to have the shoe on the other foot as they say.
Today is good. . . its dark and rainy.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
How does she feel about OM not being interested in a relationship with her?
I don't know for sure. She claims that at this point our problems have little to do with him. However, I suspect she resents me because OM uses me as his excuse not to be involved with her.
Originally Posted By: Number 8
Also interesting that OM is fearful of you. Are you some kind of rock star or something?
No, I am definitely not a rock star. Early on, shortly after our problems started, I found OMs cell number in one of the emails he sent to W. I sent him a text message to let him know that he was not anonymous and that what he was doing was not harmless fun. I wasn't threatening at all - just wanted him to know that I knew what was going on (yet he still denied ever being in contact). I don't think he liked this.
Last edited by mrbt; 04/08/1007:54 PM.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
How does she feel about OM not being interested in a relationship with her?
I don't know for sure. She claims that at this point our problems have little to do with him. However, I suspect she resents me because OM uses me as his excuse not to be involved with her.
Ah, yes. The blame. Not surprising, unfortunately.
Quote:
No, I am definitely not a rock star. Early on, shortly after our problems started, I found OMs cell number in one of the emails he sent to W. I sent him a text message to let him know that he was not anonymous and that what he was doing was not harmless fun. I wasn't threatening at all - just wanted him to know that I knew what was going on (yet he still denied ever being in contact). I don't think he liked this.
This sounds a little rock star-like to me! Love this.
Believe nothing you are told. You are going to get the blame for most everything at this point. Think of it like this, you sent OM a message, OM says something to WAW in passing conversation about you contacting him. She will take that and relay it to you as you being threatening. I never once threatened the OM in my sitch, but have been blamed for it multiple times. I have been through some big ones there. It even went as far as some friends of mine asking if OM needed to have his a$$ kicked, and that falling on me as trying to find someone to beat him up so I would not be blamed. LOL. Still have to laugh at that one, and they got even worse, but I am leaving those off of here.
