So in answer to the question about whether spring brings out the "naughty" side in all of us....
The month of May was come, when every lusty heart beginneth to blossom, and to bring forth fruit; for like as herbs and trees bring forth fruit and flourish in May, in likewise every lusty heart that is in any manner a lover, springeth and flourisheth in lusty deeds. For it giveth unto all lovers courage, that lusty month of May.
I know it isn't May yet but after this long winter, who wants to wait???
I don't love that he can lie to me and cheat on me and leave me home crying in pain with frickin' MRSA in my back on pain meds so he can go hook up with ow...
I don't love that he turns to porn, strippers, ows, and buying more 'stuff' to try and find happiness...
I don't love that he gets mad when our son is not the epitome of an athlete and tries to make it my fault...
I don't love that he reaches out to me when he apparently needs some kind of connection but then pulls back when he has gotten what he wants regardless of what I may want or need (granted that is within my control to change)...
I don't love that he can move out and go live with mommy and be taken care of instead of having to face the consequences of his decisions...
I don't love that he is wallowing in self-pity bc he misses his kids and his house is a mess and he hates his job and yada yada yada....but never does a damn thing about it
I don't love that he is not being the example of a husband and father that I wanted for my kids....
I love the good memories I have of the times when things between us were awesome...however those memories are offset by my increasing realization that there was a lot of NOT awesome mixed in starting 2 1/2 years into our dating life and popping up at least once a year thereafter (not just the cheating but other negative crap) all the way until now.
Sweetie,
This is who Dan is .. down to his core you have mentioned stuff from old days that were a little "off" . I know you have good times with him as I did with my ex.... heck even the Attorney said during one of our sessions "You guys have such chemistry" which is true... we could have a blast together. But that's not enough.
Now, even before ffg was in the picture... I never hung out with the STBXH.. really because it keeps me stuck and confused. Your still pretty knew at not hanging and texting with Dan but really are doing way better in that department. He is not your friend. Be careful because I really think he is going to make a play foryour attention again at some point. So, no I do not hang out with or even text mine about anything to do with
Wow! This really cuts to the heart of who Dan really is. And, sadly, as much as we would hope and dream, CORE values never, ever change. They just don't.
And no, he doesn't seem to be capable of being anyone's friend. I am so glad that the kids have BBJ to role-model what real friendship give and take should look like.
It also worries me that the superficial, sports, jock type things are the yardstick by which he measures Nathan as a "success." Or gaslighting little Sydney at the birthday party. Very destructive to a child. Especially ones so young.
Why do parents live so vicariously, and project so much of their sh!t onto tender, fragile, innocent children?
