[censored]. Just looked on my other FB profile. "V" unfriended me at some point.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
OK, this might have to be a point where I set a boundary. I don't know "V" well, but she is part of the homeschooling community which is quite close-knit. Also, a neighbour in our community is a friend of hers. If H is "dating" her, I need to know and not find out in some humiliating way or be the last person to know.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I agree that you need to know. I certainly would want to. I wouldn't want you to be blindsided by the information, especially in a public setting or at some type of school event.
Will you ask her or your H? Or will you ask them both?
Before you ask your H try and get more solid proof/info.
If he has hired this person to do bookkeeping in the past he could easily say the meetings are business related.
If she is part of the homeschooling group he could easily say he is trying to become more active in the education of his children since you already do so much.
IOW, if he is seeing her he will lie and since he has legit ties (business, homeschooling) his excuses will come easy.
I know this is upsetting. Just be sure you have all the best info you can before you do anything.
It's tempting to ask my new neighbour who is a friend of V's. My neighbour is recently separated too and we confided in one another about our sitches. Otherwise I don't really have a source of intel other than hiring a PI. It's possible that I could shame H into disclosing. He would understand what an awkward position it puts me in if he's in a R with this woman without my knowing it.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Stay calm, try to logically think this through. You have some idea about a possible A and who it may be - it may or may not be true. There's no need to rush things, take your time on this. You won't gain much, if anything, by jumping into it head first.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 04/08/1004:37 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
If he doenst want you to know, the minute you will ask him, he will go on special secretive mode and it will be harder to find out. If I had waited ONE day before asking my H back in 2007, I would have had hard evidence in my hands (and probably would have been divorced by now)...
Now that you are suspicious, keep your eyes open and wait. And, TRUST YOUR INSTICT. If it feels, funny, you probably are on to something... Knowledge is power. K
Another weird coincidence. V's last post on our local homeschooling email group (that she knows I am part of) was the day that H "friended" her on FB (Mar 16).
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
