Yup

My thinking is if you go at it with a claim of "YOU have a probelm.. YOU need to see a shrink" it wont be accepted

But if you go at "I am seeing a family therapist for OUR problems...we would love for you to join us" that may have some impact

Note : In private the FT may very well tell the H that he would benefit from some IC for treatment of romance addiction or whatever.

Partly this is just a matter of saving face. H may KNOW he has a problem but might not want to admit it in a marital confrontation.