I am seeing a lot of "individual counselling" references on this forum and I just want to make a quick reference to MWD here who does NOT reccomend people attend IC for couples challenges :
Taken from p 131 of DR : Marital therapy requires very different skills than doing individual therapy. Individual therapists usually help people identify and process feelings. They assist them in achieving personal goals. "how do you feel about that" is their mantra.
Couples therapists on the other hand, need to be skilled in helping people overcome the differences that naturally occur when two people live under the same roof. They need to know what makes a marriage tick. A therapist can be very skilled as an individual therapist and be clueless about helping couples change.
I am not dismissing PDT's advice here which is top notch. I just want to warn you the dangers you put yourself into by directing your spouse to go to an IC. They are NOT equipped to help with COUPLES problems... a Famliy Therapist/Couples Therapist is equippped with a very different skill set.
Don't ask the FT if they DO couples counselling, interview them on their approach to ensure your spouse sees someone who will be qualified... if they end up with the wrong FT or IC you could find thier resolve to continue thier affair is strenghtened by the session instead.
