Because of work I have to meet with a very good friend of my W next week. She's married. We used to go out a lot with them as couples. Now, both her husband know my wife's version of the separation.
She sent me an email saying that she just wanted to tell me that she expects that our meeting will be 100% about work because neither she or his husband want to be involve in whatever decision WE took (pls note the WE). She tells me they're both aware that I have been contacting family and close friends of my W (not true about the friends) to reveal "details" and personal stuff and that they're not interested.
She says they have appreciation for both of us independently and just don't want to get involved.
I'm wondering if at some point I should tell her that while I'm not interested in revealing any details I think it's fair for her to know that this is by no means is a decision WE took. It's entirely my wife's. I never had a say in this. And lastly, as a married woman, I want to ask her to understand. How would she feel if one day, out of the blue her husband tells her it's over? Wouldn't she fight for her marriage? Well, that's all I'm doing.
Does that sounds fair?
No it doesn't sound fair. You're rallying for support from friends on this and just as you saw with your wife's family, it doesn't work, it doesn't ever work. It's a very uncomfortable place to be in for them if they care about the both of you and if you're a friend you wouldn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. Trying to make others see your side of the story is controlling, let it be, be a good friend, don't make them uncomfortable. If they want to know more about the situation, let them ask you but don't force your version of the situation on them, as you can see, they've already too much and they don't like what they've heard thus far.
Let it be. Otherwise you risk losing more friends.
