The two of you had a verbal agreement to work through ALL issues (custody, asset allocation, support) through mediation. In NY a verbal agreement is binding. Now that she has breached the verbal agreement what are your options?
It is my understanding that when one spouse presents another spouse with a custody request or asset allocation request it must also include a petition for divorce or separation.
Since you and your W had a verbally binding agreement to pursue mediation, I would ask your attny about filing a petition to request immediate reimbursement to YOU from your W for your legal fees. And, be sure the reimbursement is not drawn on joint funds.
She has breached an agreement and therefore set the tone for this next phase. You both agreed mediation, she walked away without even letting you know, served you with papers and now you are forced to retain counsel when that wasn't the verbally binding agreement the two of you had. Think about that.
Thanks CityGirl-
We certainly were working through mediation, and I was intending to continue. In fact, I had just prepared a new draft proposal to send her two days before I got served. I had been stalling over the last couple months, because I was feeling better about myself, and was avoiding dealing with all this. Can she use my stalling as an argument that I broke the verbal agreement?
We have no joint funds, so not worried about that.
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It is my understanding that when one spouse presents another spouse with a custody request or asset allocation request it must also include a petition for divorce or separation.
I was shocked that the papers only dealt with custody, not divorce, not separation, not support. She has absolutely no grounds to sue me for divorce, so I guess she's leaving the door open for me to sue her.
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Even if you lose on the atty fees, it might be worth it as a tactic to bring the suit. She will see that you mean business and that it could cost her not to play fair. I'm an attorney--I don't do divorces (thankfully), but sometimes its worth it to file something even if you have only a slim chance of winning. Ask the attorney if he thinks it would be helpful--or if it could backfire and make the judge think you are unreasonable. But CityGirl's language in a motion, that she breached a verbal agreement that was working well, could also give background to the judge that might help you in the long run. Future, I've worried about my H doing this (actually, just asking for shared custody--I've got the kids most of the time), but I think he doesn't WANT them any more than he has them. My impression of your W was that she liked the freedom of having time to date and time to herself. I'm surprised she pulled this...maybe its a financial thing.
Hi musclegal-
I'll discuss it with my atty and see what he says. He's not available to meet until next Tuesday. He said I don't even need to attend the initial hearing. It'll only take 10 minutes, and is just a formality. He said the court will appoint atty's to represent my kids, and then adjourn until a later date.
You're a lawyer, so you certainly don't need my advice, but make sure you proactively protect yourself against whatever your H might pull. Don't know what state you're in, but if he wants partial custody, he very well might get it, unless you can show him to be unfit.
Everyone is shocked my W did this, as they think the same as you, that she likes having time to herself. There is something else going on here. A friend of mine here thinks she is insanely jealous over my moving on and getting "strangers" involved in the kids lives, including someone she thinks I'm involved with romantically.
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I think it is all about her getting back at him because of the teenage baby sitter. She thinks that the baby sitters mom is Future's girlfriend right?
Hi v1olin-
Exactly. She's lost her control over me, and therefore over the kids while they're with me, and she can't handle it. Truly hilarious part is, I am kind of dating someone, but it has nothing to do with the teenage girl's mom!
