Wow. Just reading through the stages of LBS. WOW WOW WOW. There is some really great stuff there! Thanks OP for the link. I am going to pull and comment on a bit of it that I especially think applies to me:
Quote:
The growing HAS to take place and the changes HAVE to be made, otherwise, you will recycle what you didn't learn another time-and that trial might be much worse than what you are currently going through.
Wow. This pretty much sums up my sitch in a nutshell. I think I absolutely did recycle SOME of my prior behavior and while I will never accept blame for my W's actions, I will accept blame for my reverting to the old ways that made her feel less special, less loved and more controlled than she should.
Quote:
We MUST become direct opposites of what we were before--as I had to do during my husband's MLC, and the changes on our end MUST become permanent.
Yup. I am here to tell you, as I'm sure many, many, many threads here have proved, this is the case. I am still not sure MLC is the case with my wife, but this can apply to general DBing.
