Proper way to issue an ultimatum?

[amg2]

BTW, I truly mean that I can't/won't pursue the marriage w/o my husbsnd being in IC. It's been 8 wks since D Day, and I'm starting to feel that my resentment about him NOT being in IC is starting to affect the time we do spend together. So this isn't an empty threat. I'm contemplating an increased dimness/darkness in the next few weeks if he doesn't go. He has said he understands that each week he doesn't go is jeopardizing our marriage more but that he wants to go "for him" when he's ready.

I think he's gotten in a comfortable groove b/c he still sees me enough, comes to the house, family functions etc. Not enough consequences of his NOT going. None that he realizes anyway, b/c my attitude and willingness are definitely affected.

Thanks