Maybe you are just one of the lucky few that can pull this off. I don't have a whole lot of feelings for ex. I certainly don't want to have lunch, hang out or go to a movie with him. We were best friends before this last affair came to light. You don't treat your friends the way he treated me. He burned too many bridges in my book.
As for Dan, I think he will continue to stay connected to you as much as he can. That way he won't feel that he has done anything really "wrong". He has issues that he needs to work through. I am not sure how much he work he will do if you continue to stay connected. Hope that makes sense.
You do have to do what feels right for you because we aren't in your shoes.
hugs, kat
My counselor and I talked about this just today...she btw thinks I am coming along FABULOUSLY!!
She said she thinks I can have these small interactions w/Dan bc I now longer have any expectations of him. I know that he can come over, eat lunch, and then quite possibly go hook up with ow(s)....I don't look for 'connections' or 'revelations' or 'progress' every time we share the same air anymore...
Conversely she thinks that the fact that I am no longer waiting with baited breath for him to come back home is prob doing a number on him and is the reason he is increasing his contact this week...
We agreed that I will accept only the invitations that I feel like accepting (such as going to lunch with the kids, hanging out in the yard when he comes to pick up/drop off kids, etc) and decline all others. Also I won't accept very many in a short amount of time as I do not want the kids to get the wrong idea....
But you are right, a real friend doesn't do the kinds of things these guys did...
