Bill, I think you're both still acting like a married couple. Hooking stuff up for her in her apt.--you shouldn't be doing that. Or cooking for her or watching movies. And she shouldn't be commenting on what kind of milk you purchase or anything else like that. You need to detach. I think that would solve a lot of your problems and bring you more peace as well....
Originally Posted By: v1olin
I think you should stick with the no contact and dont wimp out this time!
I am apparently extremely dense. Yes. I know. But this is what we're doing...
Our arrangement is that I get them up, W takes them to school, W gets them from school, and I have them from 6:00 pm.
So, this is the first week that I've been back in the house, but this is how it's gone...
Yesterday, W had the boys after school at the house. We've talked about how this make it easier for them to be at their home. W made one of my favorite meals, it was ready when I got home, and she left. Yeah.
She said that she needed to pay some bills, and was asking when the support should start - I just wrote her a check for $2000 and said here you go, if you need it here it is.
Tonight, she had them at her apartment, and she sent me a text at 5:00 and asked if I wanted to join them for dinner. So I did. We I stayed a little while and we talked about the kids' school stuff. One one point, she got up and rubbed my shoulders - really dug her elbows into my knots like she used to. She said at one point "I wish we could call a truce..." I said - are we fighting? And she said, well, she just gets lonely, something like that.
She said she had planned to get me a gift certificate for a massage previouly until I had done something "mean"
So it's true - we're acting, if not like a married couple, certainly not like a divorcing couple.
Neither one of us have talked about the paperwork since Easter, when we kind of agreed that we were going to put off signing it (without any definite parameters). Seems at this point we talk / text more during the day than we used to. Much of it logistics.
I honestly don't know what to make of this.
I wonder if I should be thinking in terms of DBing again.
Originally Posted By: futureunknown
Bill, I am continually amazed at the similarities in our situations! My W suffered a bad bout of post partum depression back in 2001 after our first son was born, which led to her first WAW episode. She moved out for a few weeks, but just as in your case, we put in all back together within a few months. I have to admit though, our M never was quite the same again. We didn't deal with the real root causes of our problems.
