D17 is asking questions. I want to answer honestly but I think I'm throwing stbx under the bus by doing so. I'm not sure if I said too much, or if some honesty was needed and stbx needs to own up to some of his decsions. Maybe I handled this wrong.
Here's a sampling of what she asked: Q: I thought you and dad were going to talk in June before making any decisions? My A: I thought so too, but dad declined. He offered to talk if I really wanted him to, but I pointed out that it just won't work if we're both not serious about it. We're just going through the motions otherwise.
Q: So you're just going to get divorced? Were you planning on telling us? A: I told Dad recently we needed to sit down with you to give an update. (Unmentioned to D17 was stbx's response to that: "yeah, but they probably have it figured out by now."
What brought all this up? D17 is at a friend's house this week for spring break. She went to stbx's house tonight to get more pillows for her campout and found stbx watching movies in the bedroom with a "friend". She asked if he had a girlfriend, but he claimed that she was just a "friend". She asked me how stupid does he think she is, when it's now right in front of her, and he comes home repeatedly at 3am?
I thought I was being honorable to stbx by not talking to the kids without him about the state of our M. I remember how furious he was last fall when I told him that I had mentioned to S19 that we were in MC. He's not here, but he still has a presence until we're actually divorced. And I still temper my actions by fearing his reactions... When does that stop?
