Feelings and emotions are fickle things...they pass. Sound judgement isn't fickle. You're human, and you're hurt...and you still sometimes feel the things that you mentioned. That's OK. I know you'd rather not feel them...but, we all do from time to time.
I think, in order to learn from the past...a person must 'forgive' it. Not forget it, and not forgive one person in particular...but, forgive the past. The whole past (all inclusive).
I'm struggling with some of the same things you are. It's hard. It hurts. I sleep better these days knowing that I did everything I possibly could to turn things around...even though I was not able to do it. It took more than me...and the other party wasn't willing.
Time...it's the one thing...the only thing...that can truly take away this kind of pain. That, and lots of effort.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
