Positive Moments... The Sequel

[K4D]

Thanks Mrs. A,

I think you are over complimenting me, but I appreciate the gesture none the less.

25,

2 years since the first reconciliation. What would be different? I don't need her anymore. I don't even want her the way she currently is. My life is actually happier without her in her current state than it would be with her in her current state.

I have a life now. I didn't before. I rely on myself now. I didn't before. I have friends now. I really didn't before. I don't need her to be happy. I did before. I didn't have my drinking completely under control before. I do now. I have other interests that I didn't before. I love her. But I don't like the way she currently is. So at times I find myself saying this is better unless she makes some changes. I wouldn't have said that 2 years ago.

April 21st is the 2 year anniversary of my mother's death. That is the week we reconciled in Florida. But I don't know if it was a real reconciliation or not. I think it was an attempted one, but I had not had enough time to change the way I needed to. I'm ready to be who I need to be for her now if she wants to reconcile, but I don't want to reconcile unless she changes herself which she has not done yet.

My life is good. A changed wife would be a bonus, but not a necessity. I am going to be fine no matter what happens. I couldn't have said that 2 years ago. I am no longer dependent on her.

I don't know if that answers your questions or not. But things are different with me today than they were 2 years ago. I am now at the point where I struggle with whether or not I want her back. She would have to prove to me she is different for me to take her back now.

It has become my choice now not hers should she decide she wants to come back.

Kevin