Thanks GIMA. Tonight I'm continuing to work on taxes, then I'm going to yoga with a friend.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
If I knew that in a year H and I would be reconciled, I'd be able to feel OK and make the best of my situation.
I will peer into my magic crystal ball and tell you that with 95%* certainty that in a year you will be significantly happier than you are now and at some point, you will be happier than you've ever been before or thought possible. So, now that you know the future, you can stick that "make the best of it" on your To Do list, ok?
*That 5% is only to account for the possibility of a bizarre thing like being abducted by aliens or a piano falling on your head and smooshing you into the sidewalk tomorrow.
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
Freckle6, love your response. Sorry about your D (from your sig). Do you have a thread somewhere on your sitch? Curious about 'It's complicated' - hopefully a ray of hope?
FM, don't respond to his head games! must resist! It was clearly said to get a response out of you or to worry you just like how he didn't check in with you when he took the kids camping. Just ask him later on in an email if he could please check in when they're out camping so you know they're OK. Not pursuing in anyway just concerned for the sake of kids. As for the dinner plans, just let it roll off your back...don't even think about it twice!
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
SM, I think I made my sig into a link to my current thread. I don't post too often on it and I'm very superstitious, but things are pretty good right now. Sorry to see you've wound up back here.
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
Don't worry about it. It's probably junk food he's hiding. Why would someone introduce kids to an OW so soon? It could be a million things. Go to yoga.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
I dont think the first ones to find out about an OW woman would be the kids but hey, my H introduced his OW to my son while I had no idea we had issues (yes, I know, stupid me!).
Anyway, you sound a bit better. Dont allow him to play mindgames with you and that would be something I WOULD make obvious to him as well. Like telling him "wow, you are wearing the shoes I bought you, I do have good taste afterall, in shoes at least!" with a smile and go on doing what you were doing. I would and actually did, be ecxited in front of the kids about their visit with dad, showing relief you get a chance to have time on your own, for me it was true after a little while so it wasnt faking it.
flo, something we LBSs seem to forget is that WASs are HUMAN. They do notice things and do get affected by our actions and recations as well. It may not show -not immediately- but trust me, there is NO WAY, any seed you plant in his head, not to occupy him. Of course they have to face, pride, egoism etc etc so they would go out of their way not to make it obvious. They are DBing us better than we are DBing them.
Next time you see him, FEEL the power you have over the situation as far as YOU are concerned. Dont hand it over to him in your mind because they sense it like dogs sense fear.
Ok guys how do i grab just a portion of something I want to quote... tried to highlight a section and say quote and it just quoted the whole thread...
anyways...I wanted to quote where it says above:
They do notice things and do get affected by our actions and recations as well. It may not show -not immediately- but trust me, there is NO WAY, any seed you plant in his head, not to occupy him. Of course they have to face, pride, egoism etc etc so they would go out of their way not to make it obvious. They are DBing us better than we are DBing them.
Especially that last sentence... SO TRUE! Look at what they say and do that gets us pursuing them! Even though it is so counter intuitive, we almost have to just act like they are. Not say all the mean hurtful things they do, but take everything in stride and just continue on with our life... good point
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
Mornin'! How was yoga? I tried it several times but my mind wanders too much, and I was just a mess. I can understand how it would be relaxing and focusing, though...
HUGS, friend!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
