Mark - I have the same issue over losing my W. Her family is wealthy and what retirement savings I do have I will be giving half to her. One small consolation, however, is that my ILs have told me they will give me money to make sure I can keep our house, whether it is pay off W for her share, provide funds to help make ends meet, etc.

It sucks, life isn't always fair, but I just suck it up and realize that many people go through what we are going through (getting dumped by our W) and somehow find a way to deal with it.

I somehow have quiet confidence that my life will be better in the future than it has in the past, even though I can no longer rely on my W for retirement. Given what we have been through with our Ws it can ONLY get better I figure.

I totally agree with what they said above about finding someone else - it will be a huge eye opener for me to find someone who is interested in me and I don't think I will have trouble doing it. The eye opener will be realizing how awful W has been and what I have put myself through to save my family.

ME/XW:47
S21, D19, S15, S14
M:21 T:26
W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12
W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline