Running out of time.

[MHL]

CLV,
Trying to get back on the boards after a hiatus. Glad you are bonding with your kids. I would say that is the major benefit for me in this whole mess we are in. Congratulations on the sobriety.

I'm trying to understand why she feels the need to inform me of her get away plans when I haven't placed a call to her in months. It sure seems like she is twisting the knife to me. You'd think her thrist for my blood would have abated by now but I guess not.

I think she is looking back over her shoulder to see if you are paying attention to her. I think that once we as the LBS really start to not be interested in them at all and no one is pursuing them they run back to us to see if we are still there and still an option.

[Cie la vie]

You could be on to something with the looking back etc.

I actually just returned to the office about an hour ago from our final mediation session. I now have a final settlement document that will go to our respective attorneys for review.

It is all over except for the crying. The mediator told us we were the easiest couple he has ever dealt with. He commented on how well we get along. This whole thing makes no sense to me. We joked and teased eachother and if you were an independent observer you would never know we were negotiating a divorce settlement and if told you wouldn't believe it.

The first thing I did when we sat down was address OP intro to the kids. I was emphatic about delaying any such intro whether it was OM or OW until we absolutely sure it was a serious relationship. All agreed but the reality is words are cheap. My W mentioned the holidays so she clearly has a date in mind. The Holidays unbelieveable!

Our final agreement as it sits is one I am comfortable with and probably the best I could have expected going in.

Unfortunately, our M will not survive but there is always another day.

[MHL]

CLV,
How is it going? We have some of that beautiful west coast weather today, I think I am going to grill something for dinner tonight. Do you have the kids this weekend? Any plans?

[ClingingToHope]

It is all over except for the crying. The mediator told us we were the easiest couple he has ever dealt with. He commented on how well we get along. This whole thing makes no sense to me. We joked and teased eachother and if you were an independent observer you would never know we were negotiating a divorce settlement and if told you wouldn't believe it.

Yes. I had mediation session No. 2 on Wednesday. The first one went awful. The second one I just sat there and let her do the talking and she gave me much of what I wanted and even flirted with giving me joint physical custody.

By letting her talk she came out of her shell and smiled and looked at me -- and I fell to pieces as soon as it was over. I remembered how I won her early on was to let her talk and have patience and value her opinion and as time went on I stopped listening and just started taking care of things and telling her about it later.

So I hear you. You have a positive interaction and you think, why didn't this work, why can't it work again?

I'm glad you came out of it OK.

[Cie la vie]

No kids this weekend for me MHL they are with their mother. However, my nanny informed me that she is spending the night with the kids at my XW's apt. She is going out of town for business I assume. I miss the little ones big time on the weekends they are with their mother.

Good to hear you are getting some nice weather in NC it is suppose to be nice this weekend here as well. Rain on the way for Tuesday - Thursday however. We need it and I like it, don't get enough of it in SoCal.

Getting up early tomorrow and spending most of the day in the backcountry with the Bro's. Qing on Saturday is unlikely but Sunday could be a go you wetted my appetite. I might be at the ballpark on Sunday for some MLB as well.

Hope your sitch is still progressing in a position direction. I'll give it a look a little later. Have a good weekend amigo.

[Cie la vie]

CTH,

You obviously know you sitch and W better than any of us so follow your instincts. The best advice I can give you based on my experience is to have a game plan going in and remain cool, calm and collected to the best of your ability throughout the sessions. It will be challenging at times.

My settlement really couldn't have gone any better for me than it did. I really believe it had more to do with my W just wanting to get it over with quickly and put me in her review mirror as fast as possible.

She probably new I would make a lot of noise about CS and SS should she have opted to go for it. I know she was confident that she would find a good position that paid well and has been in full court press on getting another man who I assume she figures will help her financially as well. She has thus far executed that plan. Which is good for me.

Your W appears to have a different game plan than mine. Good luck on getting the best deal you can. I'll likely be shifting over to your new forum home once my M is toast. Thanks for checking in.

[ClingingToHope]

I moved over early because I felt like I was trying to survive the divorce process first. I'll probably start a new thread when I'm single -- I've been told that's better than saying divorced.

I'm not really sure who is calling the shots on my STBXW's side. We had something worked out in February then she went for the home run in March and everything she was saying sounded like it had been put in her mouth.

Then at mediation she backed off most of it so we'll see at the settlement conference.

In my case, I still don't see evidence of an OM and she's told the girls she'll never remarry. She seems to be spending more and more time with her mom. They have a very weird relationship. I couldn't quite figure them out.

Have a good weekend.

[Cie la vie]

My STBX asked me to find a place the day I was served. I didn't budge and that was a very fortunate decision. She could have really screwed me on custody which would have also left me holding the bag on a very sizeable CS payment from what I understand.

Hopefully you can get your JPC you want that would be a good start. But prepare yourself for the worse case senario.

It doesn't sound like your W has an OM and that is a bonus for now. It doesn't appear to change the course your headed down but it has to lessen the emotional trauma a bit.

Best of luck!

[dwinter82]

CLV, how's it going?

[Cie la vie]

Hey DW,

Not much to report on my front. Our draft settlement agreement is out with our attorney's for their review and comments. My communication with the STBX is virtually non-existent, which for the most part is good for me.

My main concerns now are insuring she doesn't cause additional turmoil in the kids life and mine with her OM situation. I know you have experience with this.

I'm fascinated with what her mindset is. This need to fill the void of me being out of her life with OM seems to be her primary objective. Having a OW in my life is nowhere near my main concern. However, I do intend to get going on dating casually.

I need to get all the loose ends tied up (selling the house) etc. before I am going to be comfortable with any new relationship pursuits.

I've been having a great time with the kids when I have them and I am most happy when they are with me. My galing is strong on the weekends but weak during the week.

How are things for you?