H visited on Good Friday to see the children. He arrived driving OW car. I asked him never to do that again. H was shocked that it upset me and said he was very sorry.
The result of this was an indepth discussion for 2 hours during which time we both cried and he cuddled me when I was upset.
We discussed our marriage and how he saw it (I validated this), the future (he was pessimistic about OW), why he moved in with OW (he had nowhere else to go and is broke), the children and how he got it so wrong with them, how he felt (he said he had a lot of issues in his head and acknowledged he was depressed) he started discussing his childhood and how he felt when his mother died. He also agreed to come to a counselling session for S13 who is struggling coming to terms with him leaving.
Since our conversation he has talked on the telephone every day. The Saturday after he rang to see if I was alright and the enquiry sounded sincere. He is currently away with S13 for 3 days. He has sent photo's of S enjoying himself. Last time he took him away I heard nothing for the whole time they were way and only saw the photo's 4 months later.
H appears to be taking small steps in the right direction through the tunnel as this is the first time he has spoken of these things since he left and kept in contact consistently by phone. He usually texts.He has had a number of touch and go's previously but this feels more intense on his part.
H can also see that I am doing things for myself that he would normally have done and is always surprised that they have been done.
I will carry on as I am building my own life and moving forward but watching.
