The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

A lot of people have posted that their relationships improved once the D was done.

Part of me believes once everything is settled that it will be better because things will be spelled out. We've been just kind of floating along and I'm suspicious of her motives and she's suspicious of mine.

But in her case I have a feeling she's going to hate me for the rest of her life. She's always searching for the one thing that will make her happy. A long time ago I was it. When I alone couldn't make her happy I kind of became the reason she was unhappy. I kept trying to do more and more to prove I wasn't.

Several have written that a good divorce settlement is when neither side is happy. Each has to give up more than they thought. I realize I'm not going to get all that I want. I don't think W does. I think if I come OK in this then she'll resent me forever.

I wish we wouldn't have scheduled these things for Wednesdays. It's my night with the girls and my stomach is tied up in knots.