Need to regroup...

[ClingingToHope]

Today I had my first mediation session and it went OK for a while and then spiraled out of control at the end and in the parking lot.

I just read your response to whether you still love Dan. I feel the same way. I believe I still love W. Even when she was raising her voice about how she feels bullied and always gives in and she's finally standing up for herself I just wanted to reach over and hug her.

But we have such vastly different recollections of how things got to this point and assume the worst about each other I can't imagine how she'll ever let that go.

I look at our house. I didn't want it. She did. I look at the pets that she cleans up after. She wanted them. I didn't. I look at her car, which is too small for her needs. She wanted it. I didn't.

She says I talk too much and never listen. She has a point. I listened for a long time but nothing ever changed. So I listened less and got frustrated. So W, who never talked much anyway, retreated even further. It was to the point where we never talked unless something went wrong and then it wasn't a talk, it was a dumping of six months of pent-up feeling.

So I believe I still love W, but I look at how we dealt with each other and I can't believe that we'll ever be healthy around each other. I still dream of her. I can't stop my brain.

To those down the road a ways, when do the LBS pain of rejection go away?