WAW 2.5 months ago. I left that day because she asked me to, and I had no idea about the EA that soon after the bomb became a PA. No children, no pets (our beautiful dog died unexpectedly 2 months prior to the bomb). OM is my ex-friend and close work colleague, so it's in my face every day. The holidays, the nights out, the trips, the "I love you so much" talk is around constantly. It's tough.
I've been doing LRT for about 7 weeks. Only email contact with the WAW. She initially phoned me constantly about rubbish like going to fix her computer (I refused, the OM is apparently no good with computers!), and then up till about a week ago to move my wrecked car from her drive, which I immediately had removed. I let her leave voicemails. She generally asked how I was on them, but I think it was just to pacify her own guilt. Nothing since then.
I send one email a week politely asking for the money she owes me as I've been quite financially disadvantaged by having to move out at the same time as paying for a lot of pre-planned renovations on my house in Scotland and needing new car. When confronted neither OM or WAW felt they had done anything wrong as they're "in love", and freely admitted their now public relationship. I exposed to WAW family (who are horrified with her), and my workplace to make life more difficult for the OM, and a week later went dark.
WAW visited solicitor re separation order 2 weeks after the bomb but before I knew about the affair. Nothing can be done legally till Aug as we'd only been married 6 months on bomb day, and then we need to be separated for 2 yrs after, so we're legally connected for a long time yet. I asked for MC when we split, she always refused. I guess I learned why the day I found the email trail.
I know my failings in our marriage. I didn't listen to her enough. The OM did this a plenty. She felt undervalued. I've addressed my failings and even been to MC on my own as well. I'm GAL.
Glad to find this thread. I think it's trickier to DB from a position of no children, but probably more difficult and hurtful for all involved long term if there are. We were supposed to be starting a family this year, but I'm currently feeling I don't want my future offspring to be parented by someone who can set such a poor example.
Anyway, nice to be amongst friends, and nice to know that there are others facing similar problems.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
