Another thing to remember is that you from what I can read here are getting almost ALL of your INTEL about the affair from H's behaviour.
There are TWO sides to this affair, HIS perception of the stabiilty of thier affair, and HER perception. While he may appear to you to still be "in love" and completley smitten.. SHE may be near the point where she wants NOTHING to DO wtih him... so ya, intel would be handy on that end, but its hard to get at wihtout access to his email.
Just keep in mind right now that you don't know where HER head is at... She DOES read like she's gold digging and I think you may have put a dent into that... She wrote quote detailed notes about the finances.. its clearly of interest to her...
Her hostility towoards you contacting her H is a HUGE sign that she didn't want him to know and that she's got second thoughts to my mind... if she didn't care if he knew, and she was 100% out the door, then she woudln't have been so angry... You touched a nerve there... if there ARE nerves there then there is some hesitancy on her part...
