Thanks again Jack. I need no committee, just some support for what I know is right.
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
GH,
And this is for you, Talking to her, and suggesting that you are VERY uncomfortable with her hanging out with this 25 year old and that it is pushing buttons and reminding you of the past...say 2 years ago past and while it is up to you to get over this,the memories are affecting you.
Do not demand anything of her, do not tell her this or that. Let her know how this is bringing up old memories and leave it at that.
I have already done this but it was in the midst of a lot of other ranting and raving. It probably got lost in all the rest of the talking. In any event, she knows this is how I feel, and has told me I'm being silly. She knows silly or not, how it affects me and so far is totally unwilling to change her behavior. Even to the point of just keeping in touch while out, even texting, seems to be a challenge to her independence. I have pointed out that she is indeed NOT single and thus, not necessarily independent or at least when it comes to what seems like dating to me. She has a husband and 2 kids who love her and need to know she's safe. She says that's crap. She's a big girl and can take care of herself.
She claims that she can't keep living based on my fears and can't stay shut in, away from people anymore. These new friends are nice, fun people who like her and she likes them. The fact that there is some guy in the group who may or may not like her is irrelevant to her. She claims not to know what the big deal is even though when I ask her if the tables were turned, if she'd care, she gets quiet.
I am going home soon and feeling really anxious. I feel like I have been starting a lot of R talks lately and I think I need to stop that. I hope this little mood I am in doesn't carry over because I am still stewing. Venting has helped some but...
I know I will do the right thing. I usually did back then and I hope I will now.
