You'll get more responces here...and honestly you have a few people there...that...look if your wife is having an MLC, then the advice here is more geared to you. In New Comers and infideleity latey, the advice is geared to confrontation and my way or the highway.
So...up to you. Read up in Infidelity see if it is what you like, is my advice.
Will respond to your other posts presently.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Thanks OP and Jack. Started to post a new thread but deleted it. Staying here for now. I like what I am getting here, it's just 100% of my time before was spent there.
Ah. No. I hate FB. One of the things that happened was that I used to use it as a social marketing tool until W discovered I had like 500+ friends, a lot of them women, a lot of them good looking women. I explained to her that they were just people interested in my work, clients, etc. We had a 3 day long fight about that and I totally ditched it. Maybe the wrong choice but now my wife, a couple years removed, is totally obsessed with it. It's one of the things we have issues about. Nothing serious, just the amount of time she spends on it.
To this day, I advertise but do not even go on the site, and don't plan to.
Choice 2 would be the one I suggest. But...you know, it doesn't matter how many votes you get for either one, this is your life and you shouldn't leave it up to a commitee to run. : )
Look if there is an affair, you'll find out. In which case AFTER choice 2 has been lived successfully for awhile, choice 1 becomes an option.
As for the demanding part...demanding is seldom a good thing unless you are prepared for the MLC to defy your demands...and then what are you left with, either you look like a jellyfish becasue you have no spine, or you have forced yourself into doing something you didn't really want to do.
Either way...
And this is for you, Talking to her, and suggesting that you are VERY uncomfortable with her hanging out with this 25 year old and that it is pushing buttons and reminding you of the past...say 2 years ago past and while it is up to you to get over this,the memories are affecting you.
Do not demand anything of her, do not tell her this or that. Let her know how this is bringing up old memories and leave it at that.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Thanks again Jack. I need no committee, just some support for what I know is right.
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
GH,
And this is for you, Talking to her, and suggesting that you are VERY uncomfortable with her hanging out with this 25 year old and that it is pushing buttons and reminding you of the past...say 2 years ago past and while it is up to you to get over this,the memories are affecting you.
Do not demand anything of her, do not tell her this or that. Let her know how this is bringing up old memories and leave it at that.
I have already done this but it was in the midst of a lot of other ranting and raving. It probably got lost in all the rest of the talking. In any event, she knows this is how I feel, and has told me I'm being silly. She knows silly or not, how it affects me and so far is totally unwilling to change her behavior. Even to the point of just keeping in touch while out, even texting, seems to be a challenge to her independence. I have pointed out that she is indeed NOT single and thus, not necessarily independent or at least when it comes to what seems like dating to me. She has a husband and 2 kids who love her and need to know she's safe. She says that's crap. She's a big girl and can take care of herself.
She claims that she can't keep living based on my fears and can't stay shut in, away from people anymore. These new friends are nice, fun people who like her and she likes them. The fact that there is some guy in the group who may or may not like her is irrelevant to her. She claims not to know what the big deal is even though when I ask her if the tables were turned, if she'd care, she gets quiet.
I am going home soon and feeling really anxious. I feel like I have been starting a lot of R talks lately and I think I need to stop that. I hope this little mood I am in doesn't carry over because I am still stewing. Venting has helped some but...
I know I will do the right thing. I usually did back then and I hope I will now.
