I may be in the minority, but I would kick him out. The way I see it, he wanted to be heard and you heard him. He refused to admit to the A, blaming it all on you. Well since you talked to the OW, she's going to keep up appearances to "work on" her M. So right now your H basically has no one. He still holds you at night (more like a teddy bear) as security. He's going to continue to do that until he finds someone else.
I would agree with you after say 7 days and no change from him.
Exposure is a HUGE thing to deal with.. particularly if the affair has been kept secret (as far as he knows) for several weeks or months.
I reccomend giving a WS at least three days to absorb the shock WHILE you continue to expose them to friends and family and protest the infidelity. If they absorb the exposure and after havign time to process their response is STILL to cheat, separating finances and starting to cut him off is possibly a healthy route to go as an added pressure to end his affair.
Right now its way too early to act that aggressively... he needs time to absorb the reality so he can make a half way constructive decision... hopefully three days of absorbing reality might bring some good sense to the surface.
Right NOW it may be a bit early for that. But this is definiately a soon to be step.
