I don't reccomend much email, but its better than letting him corner you into a conversation. You both dont have the skills or the temperment to handle a real-time exchange... email is a lot safer. You both will have time to think and reflect, and yes holding off the SEND until you go away for a half our or so and come back to re-read can work wonders.
This is a delicate time right now... and the next few days is your chance to show him consequences for CONTINUED cheating and disrespect OR, to teach him you support his affair and that you want an open marriage or divorce... you set that pace as much as he does and all your choices send a message in one direction or another (or both, mixed messages are the most important thing to avoid).
The feeling I am getting from his behaviour and words so far is he's going to try to take the same route my wife did :
1. It's all hopeless 2. I am willing to hear what you or a therapist has to say 3. I am going to continue my infidelity and continue hurting you and disrespecting you
My usual reccomendation is that if he holds onto 3 that you keep upping the pressure on him to end it while working on yourself and with a Family Therapist alone.
(And yes 1 and 2 contradict each other, but cheaters aren't known for their ability to reason carefully now are they...)
