I am very new to this. I have read DR and found the ideas to be incredible. I am having trouble finding the right strategies to use because my H still lives here and we are still sleeping in the same bed. We do a lot together and have fun. He will readily admit that I am his best friend, says he just doesn't feel "it" any more.
I have a very involved H. We split care of the children and household responsibilities almost 50/50 because we have flexible work schedules and tag team all the logistics of running a home. Apparently we have left one task off of our to do lists, we've let our R go completely with out nourishment. I have always felt that this is how it works when you have small children and that as they grow we will find our time together again. He's apparently felt/feeling that we have lost something and he has very little (if any) hope that we can ever get it back.
I say he is depressed not just because I think so. He had a major depressive episode a few months ago and has been seeing his doctor for meds (since 2/12), getting IC (since 2/18)and working with me in MC (since 3/24, he even made the 1st appt). He says he is willing to work on our M and has shown, at every turn, that he will go through the motions. I just don't know how I can trust (funny word to me now) that he is really trying. Why be trying if you have no hope of it working???
I have been working in some 180s and not pursuing, but MC makes me talk about the R and share feelings. So, what to do is kinda confusing right now. It's like there is a stranger suddenly walking around my house. I really prayed that when the meds kicked in, and the depression started to lift, that he would feel better about our R/M. Now, he claims to feel SOOOO much better (he really has come miles from where he was), but refuses to acknowledge any hope in our R.
