Not a dick. Direct, yes, but not that. I do see your point based on that quote and I have to own that because it's all pretty much true. Maybe my spin would be a bit different than yours but you're right about those particular big reversals in my behavior, and probably it's correct to assume that they may be playing a part in our issues of late.
I just have some decisions to make about what I want to do about our M. Suffice it to say W is lying about at least some things and I assume others. The overall motivation may be more pure than having an A but at the end of the day, if our marriage is damaged or broken, then maybe it doesn't matter.
Damn this sucks to have to revisit this again. Maybe you're right in that I should have never stopped visiting in the first place. Those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it.